“The fields are ripe.” John 4:35
As spring spreads across our land but the pandemic lingers, one of the main questions I am asked is, “How do we find ways to hang out with people and build friendships when social distancing may last for many months?”
Good question.
Here in St. Paul, while the governor is following a plan for opening up the state, people still have a high motivation for remaining safe. And I, for one, am a fan of not catching the virus either. I know of too many people who have gotten seriously ill and have even died to not remain diligent. Having said that, it is spring and people are out and about, albeit while remaining 6+ feet about.
Here are three things to know about neighboring in this season of social distancing:
1. Ripeness is accelerating. Don’t delay your neighboring.
2. How to get started with neighboring and still respect social distancing.
3. How to take relationships to the next level and still respect social distancing.
Ripeness is Accelerating
You’ve probably already noticed, but being housebound and practicing social distancing have actually accelerated people’s ripeness for connecting with neighbors. I’ve had more conversations with neighbors over the last four weeks (from six feet apart, of course) than I have had over the last eight months combined. People are ready to connect. There’s an openness that wasn’t there before. They want to wave, smile, see how you are and tell a little of their story. They care.
Usually the toughest part of living missionally is getting to the point where you can have open, unhurried conversations with your neighbors. In the U.S., we have been successfully ignoring each other for so long that it can take months of BBQ’s and other intentional gatherings to just break the ice. Now that process has been wonderfully accelerated. Unhurried conversations that previously would have taken months to earn are now happening in an encounter or two. People are ripe.
Don’t Delay Your Neighboring
Because the season of social distancing has produced a season of ripeness, don’t delay your neighboring. It may not last long. People are notorious for “getting back to normal” as soon as a crisis has passed.
If you haven’t been doing much neighboring yet, here’s how to get started and still respect social distancing:
1. Take daily walks around your neighborhood looking for the people who are out, as well. Be intentional about looking people in the eye, waving and saying “hi.” On each walk, watch for people you have seen before. If they are in their yard, find something to compliment. Ask how they are hanging in there. If they live nearby, introduce yourself.
2. As you take your walks, pray for each household you pass.
3. In our new neighborhood, my wife uses sidewalk chalk to write encouraging words and Bible passages along the sidewalk in front of our house. She includes messages like, “Do a little dance,” “Sing a little song,” “Give a little cheer,” “What are you thankful for?” People enjoy the messages and even whip out their phones to take pictures.
4. Then we sit out front most evenings, about 30 feet away, with a glass of wine and chat with whoever God brings by. We've had some pretty cool conversations with complete strangers as well as deepened connections with neighbors who are regularly out for a walk that time of day.
5. Another strategy many are using is a good old fashioned note through the mail. Decide how many households around your home you would like to meet. Then write them a note and send it in the U.S. mail. Include your name, address, email address, phone number and your picture (so they will recognize you when they see you in your front yard). You could include a few details of your story. Then encourage them. “We’re in this together.” “Let us know how we can help you.” “We pray for you every day. Let us know if you would like us to pray for anything specific.” Then invite them to email you, call or text… or just stop by the next time they are out for a walk and see you in your front yard.
If you already have been getting to know your neighbors, here’s how to take relationships to the next level and still respect social distancing. Having a nice meal together and lingering around the dinner table isn’t recommended anytime soon. But you can still hang out with neighbors and enjoy unhurried conversations from a safe distance. Here’s what you can do:
1. Driveway Parties are a great choice. Neighbors enjoy unhurried conversations while sipping on a beverage in their separate driveways. Some prefer sitting in a wide circle around a fire. I have a buddy in my old neighborhood who texted me that every Wednesday evening, six families hangout together in their separate driveways. He said, "It's the best 2-3 hours of the week right now."
2. My wife and I have enjoyed a number of get togethers with other couples while still respecting social distancing. We watch the weather forecast and invite them to come over with their own snacks, etc. to sit outdoors, about ten feet apart, and catch up. It is a wonderful time of connection. The conversations quickly become transparent. People are ripe for care, Good News and unhurried conversation.
3. My wife and I are in a neighborhood wine club. We now meet via Zoom and the conversations continue to happen and deepen.
4. On our block some have enjoyed “brewery hopping” via Zoom while staying in their own homes. They get beers from different breweries, jump on Zoom and talk about the beers and life.
5. I'm having a cup of coffee with a young leader from another state on Zoom next week. He's mailing me his favorite coffee blend so we can share it as we connect and talk.
Here’s the point: God has positioned you for such a time as this. The fields are ripe. If we open our eyes and our hearts to what God has prepared in our neighbors, we will see an acceleration of grace and truth in our neighborhoods. Jesus is on the move! Woohoo and alleluia!